Masked accomplice

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." ~ Romans 12:2

I know all about masks and mirrors: they are beauty's accomplices. As a woman, I’ve experienced the safety and power in harnessing these two partners in crime. Masks are those things we hold in front of our true selves to either distract away from perceived flaws, or to distract others toward our projections of loveliness. Mirrors assure us that our masks are on straight with nothing peeking through. What a balance! What a production, what a show! Or as I've asked myself many times: Why such a production? Why such a show?

Masking is hiding. Masking is also showing. It is judging and controlling. There is an element of deception, rooted in either fear, uncertainty or deceipt. When we put on a mask, our self judgements—or perceived social judgements—result in attempts to control the perceptions of others about parts of ourselves we discern to be worthy or unworthy of revealing. But controlling and judging are not our jobs as humans, and certainly neither are in our skill set! Instead, our work lies, as stated in Romans, in renewing our minds to know the will of God and to be transformed.

Coming to mind now is the book we are reading in my church book club. In Richard Rohr’s book "Falling Upward", we're currently at the chapter discussing human failing, falling, embarrassement and losing, in which Rohr challenges us with the question: "What is your false self?"

The scary thing about illusions is that they blur into reality, until reality and illusion become difficult to distinguish from one other. We work hard to contruct these illusions. The desire for the illusion to become the reality is our desire for the “doing” to become the "being".

MY MASK // MY TRUTH

I'm generous // …but desperately hope for greater mutuality.

I'm a nice person // ...and often resent it. I wish I knew how to assert myself more.

I'm hard-working // …if the subject interests me.

I'm vegetarian // ...until I'm really, really hungry.

I dress like a woman // ...because the world trusts me more and treats me better.

I like going to church // ...but it often leaves me longing for real dialogue and deep experience.

I'm Christian // ...but I'm afraid to release my cling to comfort, and it's hard for me to fully trust God.

It is difficult to acknowledge and be with my masks vs truths. There is a kind of stigma of speaking truths, revealing lies, showing one's other sides. Sure, we can create insular little spaces within which to practice revealing ourselves, but who takes those practices public? Who says out loud: this is where I'm at. Right here. Right now.

And yet, revealing the vulnerability of these truths is where the connections happen, because that's where we support eachother. The warm sharing kind of conversation that comes over dinner and glass of wine, or a walk in the park. That kind of safe space that we give eachother to come clean, remove our masks, to share what's really going on. The instinctual "tend and befriend" when the going gets tough and our masks become too heavy to bear.

If a mask is a protector, maybe letting our guard down with others helps define safe spaces, free of judgement, full of acceptance and love, a times to be real. But in God, we always have safe space. God provides a endless supply of acceptance, love and realness. God already knows us and loves us ~masks, mirrors and all~ and welcomes us to come as we are. I find incredible comfort in this knowing.

Living in truth, especially concerning the truths I've shared above, won't happen over night. I think a kind of un-learning needs to happen. By first learning and reflecting on God's truth, the masks of social convention will also be revealed, leaving space to follow ways of being and living truthfully, as God means us to live and love.

How can we go about renewing our minds? How can we know the will of God? How can we think in new ways to be transformed?

Perhaps the wisdom we seek can be found in looking at our authentic selves formed in God’s images. Beautiful beings of creation. Average and extraordinary, flawed and perfectly unique. Just as each flower or bird is unique, so is it perfectly formed just as it is, to simply be in God’s image and in creation. No mask required.

I think it is time to take off my masks: to summon the courage to be real, the honesty to speak my truths, to faith in God's strength to hold me in my vulnerabilities. This I believe is God’s will, and what is good and acceptable and perfect. xo